Thursday, June 20, 2013

On Working Out and Working It Out

I'm not an athlete.  This is a fact that goes back to grade school when I was the very last person to be picked for a team.  It was painfully apparent back in my freshman year of high school.  I tried out for softball (became the scorekeeper), I played tennis (they let everyone on the team) and I tried out for cheerleading.  To this day, when I hear the theme song from "Beverly Hills Cop" my skin crawls.  If I try hard enough, I can still remember some of the moves.  I never want to try that hard.

I tried out for softball because my Dad played softball and I had fond memories of throwing the ball and playing catch with him.  He, in his lovely way, never let on that I wasn't good enough to play on a school team.  I thought I was good enough but I just wasn't.  My best friend's mom took pity on me and talked to the coach and I made the team as the scorekeeper.  I actually earned a letter for that.  Funny how that letterman's sweater was so important then.  The only reason I keep it now is it comes in handy every once in awhile as a costume piece.

I played tennis because I thought it was fun.  My neighbor loved to play tennis and she was my best friend.  I wanted to do it because she did it.  I used babysitting money to buy the cute skirt and court shoes.  I got better but I was not an ace.

I have no idea WHY IN THE WORLD I tried out to be a cheerleader.  I was an awkward girl with a bad perm, thick glasses and even thicker thighs.  I had very little coordination - my best dance moves were patterned after the Brady Bunch.  I wanted to be one of the cheerleader girls though.  I wanted to be accepted, I wanted to be popular.  I thought being a cheerleader would be the answer to making my sad life better.  Turns out that being on a science team that built an award winning robot was more satisfying than being a cheerleader could have ever been.

Fast forward to now, I'm still not an athlete.  I'm more likely to be chosen first to play on your Trivial Pursuit team than I am to play on your volleyball team.  I've never loved exercising.  In fact, I've always been able to  think of a hundred other things I'd rather do than exercise.

I started exercising again this week.  I've been wanting to since Dr. Gage asked me not to.  It was like longing for the forbidden fruit.  Dr. Stadler actually cleared me to resume a "light" workout last week or the week before but with traveling for work, pre-planned activities and life in general, yesterday was the first day I made it back to the gym.  The rule to a "light" workout was to keep my heart rate between 120-130 beats per minute and spend no more than 30 minutes a day, 3 days a week working out.  Seemed light enough, for me.

It was everything I expected it to be.  Somehow, something in my brain has reset and I like the idea of doing something good for myself like getting my heart rate up and breaking a sweat.  Most of all, I love the feeling of accomplishment.  Of spending 30 minutes doing something just for me.

Today I read this article written by a woman I've grown to admire in the blogging world.  I actually met her a couple of weeks ago and told her how much her writing means to me.  Our eyes glistened together as I told her that her words mean something to me (and many others) and that I know it's hard for her to be so honest sometimes, but that I'm truly grateful for her and her honesty.

I'm learning to exercise without expectations.  I'm not doing this for anyone but me and it feels right.


  1. You go girl!!!!!! I wanted to be on the softball team too. Never tried out for any sport except the ones everyone can be on. Except for in 4th and 5th and 6th grade when I tried out for basketball. And felt like they had pity on me for 6th grade and let me on the team. Funny/sad what goes through an 11 year old's mind. Like really? I already understood the world too much. Or I thought I did.

  2. Today I learned I have Hashimoto's. I found your blog while researching what this means. My experiences over the past few years are incredibly similar to yours. Your blog gives me hope! Now that I finally have one piece of the puzzle, its time to figure out what to do next. I live in Utah also. I hope you keep posting about your journey.

  3. How are you doing now? I have enjoyed reading your blog. Because of you, I found a dr and am going through the same tests you are. My fear is that I will have the same results and be sensitive to EVERY SINGLE food out there!
    I would love an update!